Dark Horse
by Keeper of the Fandom
Summary: Ahk's interest in modern culture becomes piqued by Jededaiah and Octavian's perusals of the internet, and so he enlists the Daley's help in refamiliarizing himself with the world. It does not go well.


Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, pharaoh of his father's kingdom before he was assassinated by his brother and therefore perpetually composed despite whatever circumstance may befall him or those around him, yanked the earbuds from their perch and quite literally _flung_ the offensive electronic away from himself. A tinny voice could be heard, almost lamenting, as it skidded across the floor and into the shadows of Ahk's tomb exhibit.

Mmmm whatcha say indeed.

Larry and Nicky were currently sitting with the pharaoh in his tomb in the museum, Nicky on the edge of the pharaoh's sarcophagus and Larry on the floor next to him. He had become intrigued by the internet videos Jededaiah and Octavius sometimes looked at, and so had asked the Daley's to introduce him to modern culture. It was going just about as well as they had expected.

"What," the pharaoh began, a slight tremor evident in his voice, "was _that_?"

" _Dark Horse_ by Katy Perry," Nicky told him with a mischievous grin, "Like it?"

"It was an affront to the memory of my forefathers and to that of the noble priests that practiced magic in my kingdom," Ahkmenrah retorted, voice stronger but still wobbly. After a moment, he added, "And to the grace of horses everywhere."

"Well, that's a bit harsh," Larry commented, only there to make sure the pharaoh didn't do anything dangerous in the aftermath of such an auditory assault, "It's just music."

" _That_ was not music," Ahk said seriously, "The bards that roamed the villages on the banks of the Nile, strumming their instruments and crooning sweet lamentations to the winds, _they_ played music. _That_ was an insult to magic, horses, and the majesty a true storm boasts."

"Actually, a lotta people really like it," Larry informed him, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning at the shocked expression Ahk gave.

Once over his initial shock, though, Ahk's shocked expression gave way to one of curious contemplation. His brow furrowed and his eyes glazed over as he attacked the problem in his head, looking at it from every angle, before he suddenly turned his head to lock gazes with Larry.

"She is obviously an evil sorceress bewitching innocent people with her chaotic refrains," Ahk concluded, "I place a curse on her and her wicked powers."

Larry gave an amused snort, and Nicky laughed so hard he almost toppled backward into the stone container he was sitting on. Ahkmenrah however, undeterred, stood with a flourish and swept over to the golden tablet hanging on the wall.

"I was quite serious, Larry," he said, plucking it delicately from the wall and moving his fingers to press down on one of the nine symbols.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!" Larry stalled, scrambling up and vaulting over the sarcophagus to snatch the magical artifact out of Ahk's hands, "Whoa. _Whoa_."

"Larry," Ahk said, trying to remain calm in the face of such a disobedience, "My tablet."

"You can't just _curse_ someone, Ahk. Especially for something like making a song you don't like," Larry reprimanded, stepping away from the pharaoh.

"Of course I can. If you return my tablet I'd be happy to show you how it is done," Ahk said impatiently, making a grab for the artifact, but Larry quickly handed it off to Nicky, who scampered a ways away.

"I mean you _shouldn't_ do that, Ahk. Nobody believes in magic anymore," he said apologetically, but the pharaoh only scoffed.

"I would not be so obvious about it, Larry. It would look like it happened by accident," Ahk said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And perhaps it was; Larry knew that Ahk was smarter than that. Still though.

" _No_ , Ahk," Larry said firmly, and Ahkmenrah sighed in irritation.

"Oh, very well. I shall have to content myself with writing scathing comments," he grumbled irritably, throwing a betrayed glance at Nicky before stalking into the shadows to retrieve the laptop he had flung away from himself.

* * *

"So, writing in ancient Egyptian can make magic happen too?" Nicky questioned lightly through the bars blocking off the Egyptian exhibit as he relayed the video of Katy Perry being chased around by reanimated stone lions once again.

"Yes. It does take a little longer, and making everybody think it was merely a stunt for publicity took some creative arranging of some of the words and meanings, but it can be done. As I have suitably proved," Ahk said with an air of smug victory, even though Larry had not let him leave his temple in the museum for a week as punishment.

It was worth it.


End file.
